First, the liar wakes me up because he's fucking been awake since before even Jayden woke up, which doesn't tell me shit because he doesn't look at clocks at any point in the day. Then, he gets in one of his BPD fits. Okay, I can handle it. I'm just waking up but I can handle it. Or, I would be able to if he wasn't being a jerk.
I wasn't able to get back online last night to work on some chapters I have written down, and he knows that to me my art is important, (check the side note below this paragraph please) but it's fine because he hasn't been able to get on and he says he won't care if I get online today to work on what I had wanted to last night. That's fine by me.
(Sidenote: He's an artist. So there are plenty of times where I have to leave him alone to work on his art, or his commissions in general. I leave him alone for hours with the computer, go in to check on him if he sounds frustrated, but other than that, I leave him alone. He gets pissed ANY TIME I want to work on my chapters.)
So, I'm laying there with him and trying to calm him down from his BPD fit and he starts telling me to just go online, he doesn't care, he wants to be left alone. So I try for another ten minutes and he starts getting more irate, and more pissy, no matter how hard I'm trying to calm him down. Finally he tells me that if I don't get on now he's going to make sure I don't get on at all today since obviously my shit isn't important.
THE MINUTE I start setting up the computer to get online to work on the shit he pushed me away for me to do, even though I tried to stay with him, what happens? Full blow episode about how I shouldn't have wanted to go online and how I lied when I said I cared.
DON'T TELL ME TO DO IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND FUCKING OVER AGAIN IF YOU DON'T FUCKING MEAN IT!!!
Seriously! If I lay there with you for a total of half an hour straight, trying to tell you, "Yes, I do have shit to get done but I want to stay with you until you calm down," and then you keep insisting I go do it, even getting mean about what would happen if I didn't, I'm going to get up and do what I need to do. At that point, when all I'm getting is venom about not getting up, of course I'm going to get up. Why does this suddenly make me the bad guy? You treat me like dirt for not getting up, then get even worse when I do? Talk about damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Now I've got to work on getting in, and staying in, a better mood before I go to work because all day fucking Thursday I was in the shittiest mood ever, all day, because of an argument I had with him before I went to work. Only good thing that happened Thursday was that we had our first assessment and I passed it with 100% so I only have 4 weeks of training left now.
Only good thing this week... *sighs* I hate liars...
-KTFX
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